blogging it out

Isn’t growth in the Lord amazing? A long time ago in a galaxy far far away . . . Okay, not really, but about 14 years ago, I had a bad experience while directing my first play in Southern California at our church at that time. <In my Charles Barkley voice> It was turrible, just TURRIBLE! LOL Really it was. The day of the play, the associate pastor called me early in the morning telling me about somethings that were brought to his attention from the cast. He didn’t tell me what or who, so I had no clue what he was talking about which made things really awkward for me. Was it one person or the entire group? Was it a bunch of things or just one? I thought I had established a good communicative environment meaning they were able to say anything to me at any time including complaints. The conversation with the associate pastor was particularly disturbing because I felt I was the one who had A LOT of reasons to complain, but I never did. Folks skipped rehearsals without notifying me, and when they did come they were late; they didn’t pay attention in rehearsal causing them to miss cues; they didn’t know their lines; they didn’t follow through with their commitment. Long story short, after that experience I uttered these very words, “I WILL NEVER DO ANOTHER PLAY WITH CHRISTIANS EVER AGAIN!”

Yup, I sure did and I didn’t . . . for years. And IT WAS ALL THEIR FAULT! LOL Or was it? It is so easy to focus on what other people do. It took some time, but I finally realized what my part was in that situation. When we’re faced with difficult situations, we have absolutely no control over the other people who are involved. We only have control over ourselves. Since there are no do-overs in life, I had to learn from that situation with an emphasis on Bible principles, not my own. My idea of a lesson learned was, “I WILL NEVER DO ANOTHER PLAY WITH CHRISTIANS EVERY AGAIN!” But the bible says in Matthew 7:3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” BOOM!

Did you feel that? Maybe it’s just me. LOL Seriously, if we’re honest with ourselves, there’s always something we could’ve done better in those less than ideal situations. When we focus on God and His word, we tend to handle things better or at least get up faster after falling. 😀

How on earth did I allow that situation to make me walk away from my purpose? Because I wasn’t focused on the Lord. Colossians 3:23-24 says, ²³Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, ²⁴ knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve.

You know how we have at least one person that we find hard to work with, there’s someone out there saying the same thing about us. LOL

Just blogging it out . . . Oh and HAPPY WEDNESDAY! 😀

BLACK HISTORY FACTS:  http://www.blackfacts.com/

The title of this post was actually said by Ross Gellar, a character from one of my favorite sitcoms, FRIENDS. If you’re a fan like me, you know the reason why Ross shouted that line while reading a handwritten 18 page letter (front and back) from Rachel Green. LOL Long story short, he fell asleep while reading the letter, but didn’t want Rachel to know so he haphazardly answered her question correctly which rekindled there relationship.  After he finally read the entire letter, he realized Rachel was blaming him for there break-up and that answering her question meant that he was taking full responsibility for everything. He shouted a line that became a running joke until the end of the series, “WE WERE ON A BREAK!” LOL 😀

I had a moment similar to that. After reading a few lines of a very long correspondence, I decided to give a quick general response with plans to read it in its entirety later. (That was stupid, but I assure you that was a rare occurrence.) When I finally read it, I was surprised at the content and immediately regretted sending the quick response. My response pretty much agreed with everything. I literally felt like Ross because like him, I struggled with an agonizing tug to retract my quick answer and DEFEND myself.

I have spent a lot of time defending myself whether it was for my actions, my words, a lie that someone told on me, people holding one mistake against me, and the list goes on. As  a child, I would get really upset when I was accused of doing something I didn’t do. I would start crying and yelling, “NO I DIDN’T!!!” to the false accusation. My mother’s reply was always the same, “Well, if you didn’t do it, why are you crying and carrying on?” Although I’ve gotten a lot better, I still find myself in situations where I explain myself too much, without the crying of course. 😀

What’s my point? I decided not to defend myself or retract my quick answer because it really doesn’t matter. My mother’s response makes so much sense to me now. I’m not saying there’s never a time where you have to address a situation. I’m saying sometimes it’s more effective to stay silent and let it be. And by all means, don’t be like Ross and me, read your long letters (front and back 😀 ) completely before responding so that you know exactly what you’re agreeing with. Our Lord Jesus Christ loves us even when we mess up. If you’re ever feeling down about yourself, remember what Lamentations 3:22,23 says, “The Lord’s loving kindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. ²³ They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.”

And you can also visit my blog anytime to read about my mistakes to help you forget about yours. LOL 😀

Just blogging it out . . . Oh and HAPPY TUESDAY! 😀

BLACK HISTORY FACTS: http://www.blackfacts.com/

I’m blogging a bit later than usual today because our beautiful German Shepherd, Scout, had a little ear issue that needed to be taken care of. I spent more time than I should have thinking about how the trip to the Vet wasn’t in my daily plans and how far behind I was going to be on my to do list. I had a couple of unproductive thoughts: (1) Why do they give you an appointment time, but not see you until an hour later? (2) Hey, I was here before that lady and her little fur ball with legs. 😀 Then I took a deep breath and said to myself, “STOP TRIPPING & FLOW.” That’s something I learned from my pastor a few years ago during a training for my first missions trip to South Africa.

Proverbs 19:21 says, You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail. It’s always great to set goals and to make plans, but if things don’t go exactly the way you think they should, getting upset isn’t the answer. If you find yourself somewhere unexpected like the Vets office (LOL), try asking God why you’re there. That’s something else I learned from my pastor. It’s a lot less stressful to talk to God than being upset about something you have no control over.

I got a lot done despite my time at the Vet because one of the young ladies offered to keep Scout for FREE so that I could run a few errands. Before she offered, I had decided to postpone my errands until tomorrow because I had to take Scout home first. I’m so glad I kept my pie hole (big mouth) shut about the lady and her fur ball with legs. 😀

Just blogging it out . . .Oh and Happy Monday and it’s BLACK HISTORY MONTH!! 😀

 

 

I love reality weight loss shows. I’ve been watching the Biggest Loser for years, but now there are a few more weight loss shows that’s been added to the network. Last night, I tuned into one called, My Diet Is Better Than Yours. Basically each contestant is paired up with a personal trainer and their specially designed diet plan. And of course there are physical challenges and weigh-ins. No reality show is complete without the “d” word, DRAMA!

Okay, so the contestants are on the show because they need help, simple as that. On last nights episode, one of the contestants revealed that she made an executive decision to discontinue her diet because she was upset with her trainer. The trainer said she was tired of hearing how tired she was so the contestant decided to stop the plan. ***Reality shows are edited for great TV, so I’m commenting about what they aired.*** I think the contestant was the only one who didn’t see the fact that she was self sabotaging her success. Long story short, she gave up because she didn’t like the trainers response. While everyone encouraged her to stay including the host who was in tears, she chose to QUIT!! The reason goes beyond her trainer’s response. It’s much deeper than that.

That episode reminded me of all the rejection letters that I received for my manuscript. My 2015 was FULL of NO’S, literally. One day I received the best rejection letter EVER because it had lots of suggestions on how to improve my story as well as my writing. I knew it would take a lot of work, but I was willing to do exactly what I was told to do. Now here’s the reality after the initial, “okay, I can do this.” IT WAS SOOOO HARD AT TIMES THAT I WANTED TO SAY F O R G E T   I T!!!! It wasn’t like the publishing company that made all of the suggestions said if you make the changes we’ll sign you. I remember thinking one day, what if I make the suggestions and they still say no? Now that’s a great thought to make you throw in the towel, huh? There were days that I would sit in front of my laptop void of any creative juice praying for the Lord to help me. LOL Bottom line, the suggestions that were made truly made my manuscript better. I wrestled with giant (Goliath) doubtful and discouraging thoughts practically talking myself out of trying. Whew, so glad I didn’t give up! AUTUMN MOON COMING THIS FALL! 😀

Hey you! Don’t give up. You can do it! Stay focused on God and the purpose for what you are doing. What you’re dealing with may seem impossible like David vs Goliath. 1 Samuel 17:47 says, And everyone assembled here will know that the Lord rescues his people, but not with sword and spear. This is the Lord’s battle, and he will give you to us!” Be encouraged. I pray that contestant will look to God for her strength and look deep within to realize what’s really holding her back, at least in that episode, is herself. She is her own Goliath.

Just blogging it out . . . Oh and HAPPY FRIDAY!! 😀

Throughout the 16 years that my husband, Antoine, and I have been married, we’ve had some interesting encounters with other couples to say the least. I think the most memorable encounter was the time we tried a bible study for married couples shortly after we had gotten married. The first time we attended, we noticed there was a negative vibe. The couples were literally complaining and tearing each other down. Despite the vibe, we decided to give it shot to see if that night was a rare occurrence. Unfortunately, the bible study was actually The Spouse Bashing Club. Whoa and NO! Okay, it wasn’t actually called that, but the couples dogged each other like it was. We even tried to join in the conversation by saying positive things; however, we were quickly shut down by comments such as, “Just wait until you’ve been married five years.” or “Just wait until you have kids.” or “Marriage is hard, just wait a little while longer and you’ll see what we’re talking about.” Antoine and I left there and NEVER went back. Those people were so miserable that they practically told us that we were headed for marriage-hell.

What did we learn from that experience? We learned that bashing each other only makes things worse and stay away from The Spouse Bashing Club. LOL If you’ve chosen to be married, you and your spouse have chosen to live happily ever after with an imperfect person. Here’s an analogy that my husband will be proud of because it involves sports:  Imagine you’re watching a basketball game where a player just can’t seem to make a basket. This dude miss shot after shot after shot. All of a sudden one of his teammates goes over to the other team in the middle of the game and starts bashing the guy for missing the shots. I think everyone would be shocked. That’s kind of what we do when we complain to other people about the goings-on (funny word 😀 ) in our marriage.

The bible tells us in Romans 3:23, For we all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. If a problem arises in your marriage, discuss it with your spouse. If you can’t seem to solve it on your own and feel you need to talk to someone, go to God first. Think about why you want to talk to someone else. If it’s because you’re trying to find someone to be on your side, STOP! If you’ve chosen Team Marriage, there are no other teammates involved. (Except God.) If your spouse is the one who made the mistake, show grace because you will DEFINITELY need it one day. If you’re having serious issues, consider counseling with a licensed professional or a certified pastor, not your mama! (Humor to get your attention.)

Marriage was designed by God, but He never promised us perfection. Build your team, don’t tear it down by focusing on each other’s faults. And by all means, stay away from The Spouse Bashing Club.

Just blogging it out . . . Oh and HAPPY THURSDAY! 😀

I’ve always thought of myself as someone with a big imagination. I’m a writer of fiction stories so it’s kind of a requirement, right? LOL My mission is to reach, teach, and inspire families GLOBALLY through creative writing. Globally-of,relating to, or involving the whole earth. I don’t know about you, but the earth is pretty big to me. How can someone like me accomplish something that involves the entire earth? I’m a bona fide introvert. In fact, Merriam-Webster will be adding my picture next to the word introvert. 😀 I’m kidding of course. I don’t have a formal education in English outside of the English classes I was required to take and the few electives I signed up for; I have a BS in Nutrition & Dietetics; and I am far from being world-renowned. I don’t even know my neighbors. LOL

This morning I ran across Ephesians 3:20,21 (NIV) 20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

I’ve read that a bunch of times, but this morning I really put some thought into it. With God’s power working through me, I’m able to do even more than I can ask or think. It’s not about who I think I am. It’s about who I think God is. If I doubt myself or if other people doubt me, we’re doubting God’s ability and not operating in faith. Mark 10:27 says, But Jesus looked at them and said, “With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible.”

When I chose a career in Nutrition, I knew that I could help people, but I can honestly say I didn’t ask God. I didn’t really start seeking God about my purpose until a tragic life altering event. My sister called me one night in Dec 2009 to tell me that my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. My mother passed away five years ago yesterday. I wrote the first draft of my first book, A LOVE UNCOMMON, while coping with her illness. Long story short, I got tired of doing things my way.

I hope it doesn’t take a tragic event for you to yield to God’s purpose for your life. If you haven’t already, ask Him now and wait for the answer. Then trust Him to accomplish it. Remember Matthew 9:29 (Amp) says, Then He touched their eyes, saying, “According to your faith [your trust and confidence in My power and My ability to heal] it will be done to you.”

Just blogging it out . . . Oh and HAPPY WEDNESDAY! 😀

 

 

 

 

Super Bowl! And my husband is very excited. I remember many years ago when my husband and I first got married, women would tell me that I better start liking football or Antoine would find some other woman that does. Buy a book. Learn about the game. Do whatever it takes to make myself fall in love with the game. Am I a football fan? Nope! Am I trying to be? Nope! Is he bugging me about liking football? No more than I’m bugging him about liking ballet and theater. So the answer is no.

Marriage is a serious relationship that was designed by God. In fact, marriage is the first institution that God gave mankind. But does that mean we are supposed to like the exact same things in order for us to be happy? I don’t think so. However, I respect the fact that my man is a football fan. When he’s watching football, I may join him on the couch, but I’ll probably start reading, writing, or fall asleep. Or, he’ll watch the game in a different room. I don’t bug him no matter how much I joke about it. I let him enjoy it. If you ask him if he’s going to a Super Bowl Party, he’ll say, “no”. If you ask him why, he’ll say, “I have my own private Super Bowl Party at home sponsored by T.A.N.Y.A.” LOL And that’s totally his choice.

It’s okay if you don’t like football, ladies. It’s more important for you to respect each other and your differences. And by all means, don’t invite fear into your marriage.

Just blogging it out . . . Oh and HAPPY TUESDAY!

The title of this post seemed pretty insensitive when you first read it, huh? <In my Overton Wakefield Jones voice.> Just trying to get your attention. LOL I wonder how many of you know who Overton is.

Anyway, there are times in my life when it seems like I have hit a wall head on. I don’t know about you, but sometimes when I think about all the things I have to do, I just want to veg out in front of the TV and eat my weight in skittles, the red bag. Which is why I try not to think about everything all at once. I failed this morning. I thought about everything that I’m trying to accomplish and became a little overwhelmed. My mind went into movie mode. I pictured myself stuck in a deep pool of mud from the waist down struggling to move forward while long branches dangled in my face during a rain storm. As I TRIED to walk, I kept my head down keeping my eyes fixed on the mud while pushing the branches away from me. My strength quickly faded and I began to sink. I decided to look up one last time before completely sinking into the mud. Instead of pushing the branches away from me, I held onto one of the strongest branches allowing me to pull myself up again. And when I looked forward, dry ground was just a few steps away.

Trying to get through that pool of mud by my own strength almost made me maggot feed. (Graphic, I know. Trying to get your attention again.) It wasn’t until I stopped focusing on the mud that I noticed that the branches were not a threat after all. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

Good old Paul and his thorn made a great point in that verse. I can’t depend on my strength (willpower, self-control, self-discipline) because eventually I will reach my limit. But God’s strength is infinite, UNLIMITED!! So, if you’re feeling weak, GOOD! Let’s depend on God’s strength together!

Just blogging it out . . .  Oh and HAPPY MONDAY! 😀

Today is the 22nd day of the year! I know it may be too soon to say, but this year is flying by and February is just around the corner. I just chuckled to myself because I pictured my husband, Antoine, shaking his head. He doesn’t like when I focus on time. I have a habit of saying stuff like this on Saturday morning, “the weekend is almost over.” LOL That is a little overboard.

Okay, here’s my point. We don’t have time to waste. There are situations around us that can take us off course if we allow them. This isn’t a call for us to walk around all robotish. (I know that’s not a word, but I think it’s kind of funny.) However, we should be mindful of the time we are spending doing things that waste our valuable time and energy. Have you ever gotten mad about something that didn’t really have anything to do with you like a post on FB? After reading the post you google the topic to get more information about it. Then before you notice, you’ve wasted an hour of your day. Maybe that’s just me. LOL

I said all that to say, stay focused on what God has for you. One of my favorite bible verses is, Isaiah 26:3 (amp) “You will keep in perfect and constant peace the one whose mind is steadfast [that is, committed and focused on You—in both inclination and character], Because he trusts and takes refuge in You [with hope and confident expectation].

No matter what’s going on in this world, God has a plan. Trust!

Just blogging it out . . . Oh and HAPPY FRIDAY!