Throughout the 16 years that my husband, Antoine, and I have been married, we’ve had some interesting encounters with other couples to say the least. I think the most memorable encounter was the time we tried a bible study for married couples shortly after we had gotten married. The first time we attended, we noticed there was a negative vibe. The couples were literally complaining and tearing each other down. Despite the vibe, we decided to give it shot to see if that night was a rare occurrence. Unfortunately, the bible study was actually The Spouse Bashing Club. Whoa and NO! Okay, it wasn’t actually called that, but the couples dogged each other like it was. We even tried to join in the conversation by saying positive things; however, we were quickly shut down by comments such as, “Just wait until you’ve been married five years.” or “Just wait until you have kids.” or “Marriage is hard, just wait a little while longer and you’ll see what we’re talking about.” Antoine and I left there and NEVER went back. Those people were so miserable that they practically told us that we were headed for marriage-hell.
What did we learn from that experience? We learned that bashing each other only makes things worse and stay away from The Spouse Bashing Club. LOL If you’ve chosen to be married, you and your spouse have chosen to live happily ever after with an imperfect person. Here’s an analogy that my husband will be proud of because it involves sports: Imagine you’re watching a basketball game where a player just can’t seem to make a basket. This dude miss shot after shot after shot. All of a sudden one of his teammates goes over to the other team in the middle of the game and starts bashing the guy for missing the shots. I think everyone would be shocked. That’s kind of what we do when we complain to other people about the goings-on (funny word 😀 ) in our marriage.
The bible tells us in Romans 3:23, For we all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. If a problem arises in your marriage, discuss it with your spouse. If you can’t seem to solve it on your own and feel you need to talk to someone, go to God first. Think about why you want to talk to someone else. If it’s because you’re trying to find someone to be on your side, STOP! If you’ve chosen Team Marriage, there are no other teammates involved. (Except God.) If your spouse is the one who made the mistake, show grace because you will DEFINITELY need it one day. If you’re having serious issues, consider counseling with a licensed professional or a certified pastor, not your mama! (Humor to get your attention.)
Marriage was designed by God, but He never promised us perfection. Build your team, don’t tear it down by focusing on each other’s faults. And by all means, stay away from The Spouse Bashing Club.
Just blogging it out . . . Oh and HAPPY THURSDAY! 😀